Every day we are barraged with content, and headlines that beg us to read or watch something. Facebook’s news feed is full of these little stories, and to get our attention the headlines are becoming increasingly harder not to click. The sole purpose is to get you to click the headline and go over to the site, so they can show bigger visitor numbers to companies in order to sell more ads. (This by the way, is how the internet works, and why news sites are full of celebrity gossip).

I decided to turn this weapon against the destroyers of modern culture. I will use these powers to try to entice people to read more. Here are some of my favorite books, along with the shitty internet headline you can use to get your less-cultured friends to check them out.

A Boy Goes Down With a Ship Full of Animals. What Happens Next Will Leave You Speechless.

Hold On To Your Man With This One Weird Tip

Find Out What Caused This One Guy to Spontaneously Combust

12 Amazing Things That Prove You Need Feminism In Your Life

Find Out Which Outrageous Forgotten God Describes YOU Best